I already mentioned that Whitsun in Meerbusch is not complete without a trip to the fair.
Apart from all the rides, it’s fun to browse the wonderfully kitschy stalls, with their strange array of things to eat…. popcorn, candy floss, toffee apples, lebkuchen-hearts…
Of course there’s one stall which we Brits always make a beeline for. The Backfischbude. This is the one place and time when you can get proper English-style Fish ‘n’ Chips in Germany.
The only secret the the Germans haven’t discovered about Fish ‘n’ Chips (nobody breathe a word, OK) is you need to add proper malt vinegar. This is impossible to find in German supermarkets. We import it ourselves from Britain.
So on Saturday, we went along for our Fish ‘n’ Chips with a secret stash of our precious malt vinegar carefully decanted into a miniature whisky bottle.
As we sat down to enjoy the feast, we did get some odd looks from Germans as we all appeared to pour a generous measure of Scotch onto our fish… in fact I could almost hear the clunk of jaws dropping when not only we adults but also our children followed suit.
Finally, I have to share with you this couple of slot machines I found lurking over near the dodgems. They don’t make ‘em like that any more!
For months we’ve all been dreaming about it… even our neo-nazi-lookalike cat has spent a long Winter of the soul waiting for the Summer to arrive again.
Well now it’s here (even if only temporarily) … and our entire family life has moved outside. Not just the tables and chairs… but also the washing, bicycles, the grill and all the trappings of a large and disorganised, highly un-Germanic family. It’s just as well that we can live in the open air really. My chronic inability to get on with the gardening means that the house is disappearing under wisteria, ivy, honeysuckle and a lunatic grapevine. In another month we probably won’t know there’s a building there at all, and we’ll have to sleep in the farmyard too.
When the weather is lovely like this, one of the great joys is grilling every evening. The Germans plough their way through kilos of sausages and steaks at this time of the year. But I’m enjoying learning how to make all sorts of grilled vegetables at the moment. Last week I acquired a sort of mesh-pan which makes it a lot easier because you can turn them by giving the pan a good shake. Drizzled with a basil, olive oil, garlic and lemon dressing they’re wonderful.
This coming weekend is the annual Whitsun fair in Meerbusch. A chance for kids and adults alike to consume a diet of alcohol, fat, sugar, chemical additives and then go on rides which are guaranteed to have you splattering the fairground with vomit from a great height.
It’s an excellent opportunity for you to feed your children the sort of nutrician-free goodies which will make them hyperactive all night - thus ensuring you can stay and boogie in the beer-tent until dawn.
For our family the highlight of the weekend will be when we all get together on the horseracing game. This involves trying to roll a wooden ball into holes in a board. If you manage it, your horse will move forward by another one, two or three leaps. The winner of the race is awarded a cuddly toy to add to the burgeoning collection of Whit-fair animals which every child in Meerbusch possesses.
Planet Germany seems to be on a roll at the moment. Expatwomen.com have just featured it on their front page with a full-length interview with yours truly.
I’m also very excited that Planet Germany is featured on the front page of Buch7.de - which is an online bookstore I would recommend to anyone living in Germany. They donate 50% of their profits to cultural and charitable causes - so not only can you buy your books there as cheaply as on Amazon, but you can also feel smug about yourself while you shop.
They get a bad press in Germany… but now this clip can exclusively reveal the difficulties neo-nazis experience on a daily basis. Is it time to hug a neo-nazi after all?
Remember how the Germans used to be portrayed when we were younger? Growing up in the sixties and seventies our perceptions of Germans were entirely oriented around imagery from the second world war - whether it was films like the Dambusters, or series like Colditz and Secret Army, or comedies like ‘Allo ‘Allo or humourous sketches like this classic from Dave Allen.
What a let down it is to find out that Germans are actually quite normal people.
