April 7, 2008...10:18 am

Help! Did the cat recruit my husband?

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You already know that my daughter’s cat is currently under suspicion of being a nazi infiltrator in our household. Well, I suspect that he’s now started to expand his influence within the household… let me explain.

Over the past week or so, my dear husband has been suffering from a bad cold. Now, those of you who either are male or live with one of that species will know that the combination of a man and a bad cold is a pretty serious proposition. We’re talking about a man-cold here. For those who are not aware of the severity of this… I’ve included a short clip to remind you.

Now… it so happens that this man-cold has caused my husband to blow his nose a lot – and he has a sore area directly below his nostrils. As a result of this a scab has formed there. And he is unable to shave the centre part of his upper lip.

Now obviously at first (following the advice of the video) I was sympathetic. I made chicken soup. I said “Poor bunny” and “Can I fetch you something.”

But then, this morning, I happened to catch sight of something that made my blood run cold. I saw my husband stroking the cat.

It all made sense now… the cold must be some form of cat flu, brought into the house deliberately to infect the humans with Hitler-moustaches. The two of them are in league! Before we know it the kittens will have been recruited too and then the Anschluß of next door’s garden will start in earnest.

You have been warned!

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