This coming weekend is the annual Whitsun fair in Meerbusch. A chance for kids and adults alike to consume a diet of alcohol, fat, sugar, chemical additives and then go on rides which are guaranteed to have you splattering the fairground with vomit from a great height.
It’s an excellent opportunity for you to feed your children the sort of nutrician-free goodies which will make them hyperactive all night – thus ensuring you can stay and boogie in the beer-tent until dawn.
For our family the highlight of the weekend will be when we all get together on the horseracing game. This involves trying to roll a wooden ball into holes in a board. If you manage it, your horse will move forward by another one, two or three leaps. The winner of the race is awarded a cuddly toy to add to the burgeoning collection of Whit-fair animals which every child in Meerbusch possesses.