Baboons, buffoons and clowns – never mix them up!

One of the great things about living outside of your own culture is that you’re never bored. On a daily basis some muddle or misunderstanding crops up which threatens to undermine your whole existence unless you solve it right this minute.

Like the other weekfor example.

As many of you know, I run my company from home… I’ve converted one of the outbuildings of our farmhouse into offices, and that’s where my colleagues and I sit. My husband also works from home, in a separate office in the barn. We all meet up regularly around the coffee machine in the kitchen.

When I was writing my book, Planet Germany, I printed off the manuscript for my husband to read – and said, “Now is your chance to get anything changed that you really object to.”

I reminded him daily for about a month. Then I said – “Right I’m sending the manuscript to the publisher on Friday – so that’s your last chance.”

Typical – he didn’t bother reading it. “It doesn’t matter,” he says. “You’ll only sell about ten copies anyway.”

But, a few months on when sales have been going really well on Amazon UK and Amazon Germany he grabs a copy and starts reading it in bed.

The other morning, he comes into the kitchen and complains: “You’ve turned me into a complete buffoon!”

Birgit (my colleague) is in the kitchen and immediately gets the wrong end of the stick.

“You English do enjoy your kinky sex games, don’t you!” she says.

I do a double take – no a triple take….my jaw hangs open… my eyes are popping…

“You what? What….how….where did that comment come from?”

“You know – the buffoon. The monkey with the red bottom. You have been playing the strict schoolmistress game or the dominatrix, yes?”

“No, no. You’re thinking of a baboon! A buffoon is more like a clown.”

“You shouldn’t have sex dressed as a clown except at karneval” she says, sniffily. And wanders off to her desk with her coffee….leaving us gawping after her….

So my husband’s angry with me and my colleague thinks I’m into kinky sex with clowns…and it’s only half past eight in the morning!

Nope – you can’t get bored in Germany…..


Filed under comedy, Life in Germany

5 responses to “Baboons, buffoons and clowns – never mix them up!

  1. Tell your Hubby that I don’t think he is a Buffoon or a Baboon either! Your book made him sound delightfully real!

  2. That’s just priceless ­čśë

  3. It’s true. You shouldn’t have sex dressed as a clown, except at Karneval.

    But, I do keep a red rubber nose handy at all times…

  4. If we do or don’t do it, someone will laugh

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