It’s that time of the year again…

… Yes, late Summer. When the Christmas stuff starts appearing in the German supermarkets.

Seasonal fare, unseasonally early…

They’ve still got all the Oktoberfest produce in too.

Weisswurst in Lederhosen? What?

I only popped in for a carton of milk!

German women – we know your secret!

With the Oktoberfest coming up, strange and unfamiliar products have been appearing in almost every aisle of the supermarkets up here in Northrhine Westphalia. Everything from Weisswurst to Lederhosen to funny little handbags with Edelweiss embroidered on them.

But yesterday I spotted a new line in the ladies’ underwear section. The Dirndl Bra.

This is clearly the secret weapon used by German women to turn their otherwise normal looking bust into that impressive ship’s prow which juts out of every Dirndl-blouse.  Not so much a push-up bra as a piece of lace-edged scaffolding.  Even the size of the box is scary!

The secret weapon for creating that Dirndl prow

German ladies… we know your secret!

Scary clothes-shop windows in Germany

Going clothes shopping in Germany has become a disturbing experience of late.

Many normally respectable stores have completely changed their clothing range.  For example, when I was in Mönchengladbach yesterday, I passed an otherwise normal department store and the shop window looked like this.

Not what Germans normally wear.

Fancy dress?

I should point out that this type of clothing – the Dirndl for women and the Lederhosen for men – is not what Germans wear in normal life.  You may come across people dressed like this in Bavaria, but not up here.  A Rhinelander wearing a Dirndl or Lederhosen would be like a Londoner wearing a kilt and sporran. If you see someone in this garb, they are either a very lost Bavarian… or more likely an American tourist. But most definitely not a local.

So why are these weird foreign clothes everywhere all of a sudden?

The reason is the upcoming Oktoberfest.  The Oktoberfest is Germany’s biggest beer-party, and the most famous of all is the one on the Wiesn in Munich.  In an un-Germanic fit of anti-logic, the Bavarians hold the Oktoberfest in September. Possibly to confuse non-Bavarians and thus prevent them turning up until all the beer has been drunk.